Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
