her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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