I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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