You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
