boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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