recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
