We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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