If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
