i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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