The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
