Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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