Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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