So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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