god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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