She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
