So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
