let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
