Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
