First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
