I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize