I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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