kristin has been a bad kristin
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
