Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
