no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So vagazzling was a success
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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