And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
