I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
