Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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