Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
