nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
