Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
