When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
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well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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You're breaking my sexual little heart
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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