i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
