lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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