do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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