I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
They have beer where we have blood.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
