____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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