Small penises have feelings too.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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