while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
They are going to name an STD after you.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
