I just made out with a guy for $7.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm like, not good at living.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
