How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
