all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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