Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
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I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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