I'm jealous of your bromance
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
