I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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