my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
