I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
