the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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