currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Dick very happy bro
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
