All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
