So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just want to make out with him forever
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
