so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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