Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
