I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
