this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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