Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
