season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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