I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
