hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize