Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
