Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize