look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
