Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
