Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
