can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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