At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
