You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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