so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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